I Have Changed...

I have changed
I am different

21 days...

Ahh Sunday.  Wow 21 days...and the time seems to have flown really.

Back to work tomorrow....woohoo.....bring on the rest of the year!!!!

I AM LOVING LIFE :)

Old Habits....

I am amazed!! Despite me not having had any alcohol for 19 days....I STILL think of myself as being over the limit for driving.

For so long I would plan my day around having all driving done by 4.00pm.....

Creativity Unleashed....

I don't quite understand why, but I seem to be having a 'tidal wave' of creativity wash over me.

A satisfying sound....

I picked up my 'Dollar Tin' today and was very pleased to feel a bit of weight in it....and I must say the sound of  the 17 dollar coins rattling around brought an instant smile to my face.

The Definition of Insanity...

About a month ago I heard someone give the definition of insanity. I can't remember if it was on TV or what, but it did stick in my head. I had heard it before....but as they say....'when the student is ready, the teacher appears'.

Dreams, wishes and goals....

Everybody has them.....but not everybody makes them happen.

As a child I was obsessed with music, and singing, and writing songs. I would literally lock myself in my bedroom.....crank up the 'record player' to full volume....grab the microphone stand

And so week 3 begins...

Well I have been sitting here for half an hour....trying to think what to write. My mind seems to be quite relaxed....so much so that it has reached a type of zen state LOL.

Day 14...

Sunday.....ahhh....a day of relaxation.

To celebrate my second week.....I am going to reward myself by putting a color through my hair :) I particularly like

Tactile Comfort.....

I learned a technique to help with panic attacks several years ago. It was quite effective strangely enough and it would appear my brain is seeking the comfort of it again. The tecnique involves touch.

I used to walk into shopping centres and totally freak out.

24 Hours in a day...

I found myself pondering yesterday about the fact that time seemed to be passing soooo slowly. I mean the days seem longer....and then it dawned on me...it's the first time for YEARS that I am actually AWARE and cognitive ALL THE TIME!!!

Differing reactions.......

It quite interesting receiving the different responses from people when I tell them I am not drinking anymore. I find myself wondering what demons others face.

A fortunate symptom......

Ok....so its been 10 days dry. Woohooo.

I have noticed a FANTASTIC side effect from not drinking.....WEIGHT LOSS!!!!

Yesssss......I have lost 6kg!!!!!

The Pub....

Well I decided today was as good a day as any to go for lunch to the pub. I found myself staring at the bloody bottles on the shelves and imagining how good it would all taste

Second Monday sober....

The start of week 2...I am so proud of myself :)

On the Seventh Day.....

Well I have made it through my first week!! Yayyyyyyy Me.

So the specialist has confirmed the following: yes it is psoriasis, yes it is bad, yes it is affected by my liver function, and the least favourable point she made was....yes it is going to be difficult to treat...joy oh bliss.
Bloodtests on Monday, another cream to add to the one I already use and go back and see her in 3 weeks.

Ahhh Saturday.....Specialist Day

Stayed home last night and a friend came over. I swear my sides are sore from laughing lol..and didn't crave a drink at all. This despite my friend being 'smashed' lol.

Challenge met and won!!!

Well....last night was my first exposure to old habits. A friend came round with a six pack of beer, its a regular occurance once or twice a week. However, I happily sipped my fruit juice n diet cola the whole time.

$4.00 in the jar so far....

I have a large jar....which has $4 in it...each dollar represents a day with no alcohol. Each time I reach 6 months sobriety...I am allowed to spend the money on pampering myself. A facial, new haircut, manicure (if my damn fingernails ever recover), you know girlie stuff.

The beginning of day 3...

Hmm I am noticing I am sleeping better. Quite strange to think a week ago the only way I could get to sleep was after several glasses of 'Chateaux De Cardboard' wine...

39 Hours and counting....

39 hours and no booze!!! It is a voluntary decision, prompted by what started of as a subconscious whisper of "I need to stop drinking'...and has now suddenly materialised as action.

I have recognised the trigger...not the doctor telling me over a year ago that my liver was shall we say 'compromised'...not the bloated gut and bloodshot eyes...not the blackouts and memory loss...not the weekly squashing down of the recycling wheelie bin lid to close it and the subsequent clattering of bottles and casks...no it all came down to a rash, which turned into some rampant itching burning disfiguring psoriasis on the soles of my feet and palms of my hands and various other limbs and even caused my fingernails to almost fall out.

Now I am yet to see the specialist, that is happening on Saturday, however having googled my fingers to the bone (no that is not the cause of the fingernail problem lol) I notice repeated references to liver problems being associated with it all. So after bathing in the throws of a hypermanic bipolarised thought-fest for 3 days, the end result is actually one that is kind to myself and life prolonging. ( A far cry from such events in the past which generally resulted in a plethora of substance abuse and hysteria and even hospitalisation)

So begins a new direction in life...