Robert the Bruce and the Spider..."If at first you don't succeed"...

For those that aren't familiar with this story...

It is said that in the early days of  Robert the Bruce's reign, he was defeated by the English and driven into exile. He was on the run, a hunted man. He sought refuge in a dark small cave and sat and watched a little spider trying to make a web.

Time and time again the spider would fall, only to climb back up to try again.

Finally, as Bruce looked on, the spider managed to stick a strand of silk to the cave wall and began to weave a web. Robert the Bruce was inspired by the spider and went on to defeat the English at the 'Battle of Bannockburn'.

I was first told this story by a doctor at the Princess Alexander Hospital in Brisbane, Australia during 1991.

I had been admitted with severe pneumonia complicated by Legionella bacteria. My lungs were a total mess, however each day I diligently blew into the Spirometer machine and did the 'puff tests' that charted my recovery. I became frustrated because I wanted to go home, but the Doc' said not until I could sustain a certain measurement for 3 days in a row. I would watch the stupid needle and will it to get to the mark as I expelled air as hard as I could. The first day I hit it I said to him " look I hit it!", with great delight. He said great, now do it again. The second test failed. The third worse still.

He looked at me as tears welled in my eyes, and then quietly told me the story of Robert the Bruce. I got the message. And now all these years later, I am facing a similar situation again.

Now as it has been 5 years since my last post, and for those who know me, yes I did start drinking again. HOWEVER, not as uncontrollably as before, but yes I would have a couple of Chardonnay's here and there. A beer maybe after a hard day's effort in the sun, and a few times enough to wipe out the facts of life that were surrounding me.

This brings me to now. Day 5 of my second attempt to 'weave my web'.

My starting point isn't as low down as last time, for which I give myself some credit. But I am standing now at the peak of a small mountain and can see another one in the distance which is higher. I want to climb that one now. I want to see the view from there. I am carrying extra years of age now and physical limitations from injuries caused during my tumble off the path. But now I have a stronger psychological set of tools to use and my internal compass is not as rusty as before.

So here we go again.....eye on the target....deep breaths...focus.....